What is being a good parent? Should we inspire a child to be kind and passionate, competitive and successful or spiritual and pious?

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During his preaching among his classmates, the child devotee Prahalada sheds light on this point through the verse (7.6.1) of the Shrimad Bhagavatam as follows:

shri prahlada uvacha
kaumara acharet prajno dharman bhagavataniha
durlabham manusham janma tadapy adhruvam arthadam

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Prahlada Maharaja said: “One who is sufficiently intelligent should use the human form of body from the very beginning of life — in other words, from the tender age of childhood — to practice the activities of devotional service, giving up all other engagements. The human body is most rarely achieved, and although temporary like other bodies, it is meaningful because in human life one can perform devotional service. Even a slight amount of sincere devotional service can give one complete perfection.”

The primary duty of a good parent is to train the children in the devotional service of God. They have to train them to be the loving devotees of the Lord. The teachings received during childhood become indelibly imprinted in their minds. Why should a child be taught to become a devotee is explained in the following verse (5.18.12) of the Shrimad Bhagavatam:

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yasyasti bhaktirbhagavaty akinchana
sarvairgunais tatrasamasate surah
haravabhaktasya kutomahad-guna
manorathenasati dhavato bahi

“All the demigods and their exalted qualities, such as religion, knowledge and renunciation, become manifest in the body of one who has developed unalloyed devotion for the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Vasudeva. On the other hand, a person devoid of devotional service and engaged in material activities has no good qualities. Even if he is adept at the practice of mystic yoga or the honest endeavor of maintaining his family and relatives, he must be driven by his own mental speculations and must engage in the service of the Lord’s external energy. How can there be any good qualities in such a man?”

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One who grows up with the idea that he or she is the body cannot be made to develop good qualities by simply asking him or her to be good and compassionate. But if the children gradually grow up to be devotees, then they will automatically exhibit all good qualities.