Q. I am a college student. Sometime back, I fell in love with a girl in my class and proposed to her but she declined saying that she considered me "just a friend." However, she said that she doesn't have any problem in continuing with me as a friend. But I am heartbroken and extremely depressed; I cannot concentrate on my studies anymore as I cannot imagine life without her. I don't want to live anymore and want to end my life by committing suicide. Do you think I will get some solace by continuing with her as a friend? But then, the problem is the more I see her, the more my feelings for her increase. I am in a mess. Please advise me.

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A: Yours is a typical case of not love but "lust at first sight." As a college student, your total focus should be on your studies so that you may lead a decent life in your future.

In this world, nobody is a true friend of anyone because all the bodily relationships have very much degraded these days. In our contemporary society all over the world, bodily relationships are need-based and not founded on love as imagined by you.

 

Lust is exploitation whereas love is dedication. Lust is generated in bodily connections whereas love springs from the spiritual platform. Therefore, in all human transactions, you can easily observe selfishness on display. Each person is aiming at his own gain in all interactions. Therefore, it is not worth taking one's life for the sake of another person. Moreover, from the spiritual perspective, committing suicide is a sin.

Basically, what I can see is that you are also suffering due to ignorance like most others today. Your stay in this world is for a very short time. It is like that of the flapping of a bird, seen now and gone tomorrow. It is fools who plan elaborately for staying here whereas wise ones prepare for going because going is the only thing certain, as the old adage in English goes, "There is nothing as sure as death."

Under the circumstance, don't waste your valuable life for the paltry pleasures of this world. If you are seeking true love, then look inwards. Our love for God is dormant in us. Shri Krishna, the God, is the true object of love. He wants to love you and be loved. This is the fact. However, in your quest for real love you may try to love this person or that, in this life or the other. The end result is that you will ultimately feel cheated until you reach the final and the only object of love, Shri Krishna.

Everything will be revealed to you the moment you start sincerely chanting "Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare." Good luck!